How do you know

          I can rip phonebooks in half.
          Not even kidding. I learned how to do it on Friday - Danielle and Mitch were attempting it, and I thought I'd give it a go. I just took a half of a phonebook at first, which ripped through pretty easily. I got the technique down. So I decided to tackle a whole phonebook - last names a through z, all those businesses, ads, both covers - it took a while, and I was doubled over laughing, but I did it. I ripped that sucker in half.
          It was one of the greatest moments of my life.
          I've still got the one half - it lives on my shelf, a reminder of badassery for those times when I'm feeling incapable and helpless.

          This weekend has been full of kicking ass. Yesterday, Andy, Patricia, Ali, and I tried to go to Target. The problem was that Andy's car was trapped in three inches of ice. Literally, it was frozen in up to its hubcaps.
          We tried putting down salt (the store had run out of regular road salt, so we used water softener salt, which seemed to do the trick) the night before. Rocking the car, trying to drive, trying reverse, trying neutral and pushing - it was all to no avail. So in a fit of inspiration, we jacked up the car, inelegantly and crudely wrenching it out of the ice, and put cardboard under the wheels.
          Of course, then, one of the front wheels wasn't actually touching the ground - it just spun crazily. So we shoved more cardboard under it and had Andy sit on the hood while Ali put the car in reverse as Patricia and Kevin (who showed up halfway through the proceedings) and I pushed. It worked. It worked! Validation! Overcoming small obstacles, no matter how trivial, does a lot for the self-esteem.

          At any rate, this weekend has been a much needed up after a week full of definite downs.
          And on top of that, the weather today is lovely. Almost fifty degrees out, sunny, breezy. There are puddles. It won't last - we're supposed to get freezing rain and sleet tonight - but it's been nice having it for now. There's a strip of grass that's been uncovered in the snowmelt (surprisingly green, even after all this time buried under the snow and ice), and there are maybe twenty robins hopping around on it, peacefully trawling for earthworms. It's been a nice interlude of spring. I sat outside and talked to old friends today, breathing in the taste of water. This March seems to be going for a more lamb-like approach.

          I have a lot of work to finish tonight. Catching up on discussion forums, writing a few midterm essays and response papers, practicing piano, working on my thesis proposal. Probably I shouldn't have put this off. Definitely not.
          But, as always, people are more important than paperwork. No question.


          Oh. Also, here's a gratuitous joke. It's a really bad one. There's no reason it should be funny. It actually isn't, but I still laugh at it.
          Here goes. Don't hate me.
          Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says to the other, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." And the second penguin responds, "How do you know I'm not?"

          Sorry.