oof.

          So. I have come to this conclusion: college was a nice way to make new friends and learn a few interesting things, but it did nothing in terms of qualifying me for anything remotely resembling a real job in the field for which I studied.
          With student loan bills looming on the fast-approaching horizon, I don't have the time or luxury to take unpaid internships (which would give me lots of professional experience), but I don't have the professional experience to land a real job. What a dilemma.
          Part of the problem is, despite any rational, level-headed, pragmatic ideas I may have in place about just getting by and being able to put food on the table - I still have too much pride. The next job I have won't be snapping photos of screaming children. It'll be in publishing.
          Except nobody wants to hire a relatively clueless kid who's gonna have to be trained and will probably make some disastrous mistakes that'll have to be cleaned up. They all want previous experience - they don't want to have to be the ones who make someone experienced.
          Part of me really just wants to pick up, move to the cities, get a couple insufficient jobs, start volunteering at the Literary Center, make some contacts, and actually go talk to people at the type of job I really want.
          Part of the problem is that this plan banks on a whole lot of good luck and coincidence. And part of the problem is that my parents, who still seem to have a stranglehold on my life, wouldn't allow it. And, despite the fact that I am an independent woman and should be able to make my own decisions, they still have an enormous amount of power over my actions. If they didn't want me to pack up and move, they could very easily prevent me from doing so.
          Part of me feels guilty, because sometimes I think it'd be awesome to just start working for a bakery (if any would hire me) and do that for a living, maybe one day open up one of my own. I'd be okay about "wasting" the tuition I've paid for a college degree, because I've still gotten things out of college that make it all worthwhile. But my parents have also put themselves into considerable debt so I could go to school. And not doing anything with my degree would feel wildly ungrateful. It probably would be a waste.
          Sometimes I think I should go to grad school and pick up a degree in ... I don't know, library science or something. Something which points to an actual and possible line of work. But it doesn't really appeal. Or maybe I should get licensed to teach. But I don't know enough of anything to be qualified to teach any given subject. And, let's face it, I'd probably make an awful teacher.
          So. For now, any of you know any publishers or magazines who are looking to hire a liberal arts college grad who has a lot of experience in small-scale publishing but almost zero experience on a professional level, but who is also eager to learn and is a fast study?
          One of the major failings of really not looking good on paper. And being picky about careers.