And now I'm slowly absorbing the fact that, come the fall, I won't be going back to school. Or seeing school friends. My time as a student is over. Unless I go to grad school. But for now? Over. Done-zo.
Weeeird.
I don't feel an overwhelming sense of pride or accomplishment, to be honest. It was just another thing you do. College wasn't particularly difficult. There were tough moments in there, and I was challenged, but there was never a question of whether or not I'd be able to do it. I've had eighteen years of practice being a student; I should be pretty good at it by now.
But now I have to get out there and be a real person. Um. Exactly how do you go about doing that? I'd be great if there were courses offered on the subject ...
I've been home for a grand total of two days now, and it's endlessly strange. Also, lonely.
It didn't sink in for a while that I wouldn't just see everyone in August. I actually didn't process that knowledge until after I was already home - a little late to make any meaningful goodbyes.
And I miss Nick - this has officially been the longest we've gone without seeing each other in over two months (possibly longer than that). Maybe that's a little (or a lot) pathetic, but I don't care.
It's been rough. 1,038 miles is far away. He's the one I go to when I'm sad or scared or generally less than stellar, but I don't have him around to make me feel better. Well, obviously - it's this separation (and the knowledge that we'll be apart for the majority of the next two years) that's causing this loneliness.
I keep telling myself that it'll go by quickly.
Not quickly enough, though.
Let's be honest; who else is gonna put up with my awkward grins?
5 comments:
Um, excuse me, woman, but I will always be MORE than happy to put up with your awkward grins. I would love to see them . I will insist that you grin at me awkwardly at least once per day. We can have awkward-grin contests. :-] That's my attempt at an awkward grin smiley (I didn't know which key would work best). Also, I am coming home in a few days, and I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SEE YOU!. And also YOU'RE A GRADUATE! And don't worry. You'll figure out something to do with your real life. Everybody does somehow. You're no exception.
well...if it makes you feel better, I left without saying goodbye. I just was like "hey, I'm gonna go put my stuff in the car...hey, let's go out to lunch...oh, okay, let's leave directly from lunch place. Sweet." And then realized that the only person I said goodbye to is the one I'm seeing in a week. Duuuumb. -_-. I miss you. You need to go to Thailand, you know? Or at least be in MN in October (around Oct 24th) for the wedding, mkay?
Since I didn't get to say one, here it is: Goodbye. I'm going to miss you. And your awkward grins.
Hey I'm bummed that we didn't get to say a proper goodbye. I'm only just now getting my voice back, and was pretty out of it on graduation weekend. Yuck. I think it also didn't quite set in that just because I'm not leaving till next people, other people were, in fact, leaving that day. So:
GOODBYEEEE!
We will see each other in the Cities, I'm sure. Keep me updated on your life.
Mayhaps you should fix your boredom problem by coming down to Waukegan for a visit?
Or would that be too dangerous for a graduate from Gurnee?
I am insulted by the implication that I do not or would not put up with your awkward grins. I've been putting up with them for most of my life. :)
I larvae you.
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