I have my window wide open and a fan going, but it's still sweltering in my room. The tile floor is even radiating warmth (which is nice for bare feet, but gross for trying to sleep).
I came back to Coe early; most of the building is still empty and, therefore, still blasting heat out of the ancient radiators. Until later today, that is, when everyone returns. Hopefully things will cool off.
But!: other than the heat, it feels so good to be back.
It was relaxing to come back and unpack. It was like locking back into place, straightening up my room. Putting things where they belong. Coming home.
I've noticed that I'm having trouble with goodbyes. They never used to be a problem; I guess I just never really thought about it. My mother doesn't like goodbyes because she harbors that fear that it'll be the last one. I don't worry about that - even if it is, the leaving party still knows I care - but I've started to feel that long stretch of separation at the parting.
I think this will be a good semester. It'll be fun. Productive. Relaxed. What I see it doing most, though, is making me ready to leave. Making me ready for the real world. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely going to savor these last relatively-responsibility-free days ... but I'm also looking forward to wrapping up, to accomplishing something, to paging ahead to the next chapter.
I bought a wall calendar for my room (side note: it's totally a Better Homes and Gardens calendar, with a different cake featured every month, complete with recipe - hell yes!), and I realized that I won't be even halfway through it by the time I'm launching off into the real world. But there's still those months after in the calendar, ready to be filled - because after this milestone, there's still life; it keeps on going. And that's reassuring.
So I've resolved to make the most of this semester. To be myself, to roll with the punches, to relish what I've got.
3 comments:
I bought a page-a-day calendar with a different cupcake recipe for every day. It is wondrous. I'm really into cupcakes right now... my roommate bought me this AMAZING cupcaked decorating book called Hello, Cupcake! Paired with the calendar, it is amazing.
re: relish what you've got
Because the real world is soooo no fun right now.
Leta, I hope you have an AMAZING last semester! It's going to be so great. And when I get back from Beijing, I'll come visit you in the Twin Cities, and you can show me your awesome new apartment and tell me about your fabulous new job. :-) I love you!
What's so fake about the world you're in now? Are you not there, not feeling and experiencing and being you? College is as real as any other part of life, it's just different. When you're single and about to get married, will you call being married the real world? When you're married and about to have kids, will you call parenthood the real world? I suggest you not only relish the point of your life you're in now, but think of it as just as real as any other part and be sure to live it that way, just as once you've graduated you should live just as you're living now.
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