Today, we stole a day from spring. It was up to forty degrees today (well, above freezing, anyway - there were puddles). I walked outside and took off my jacket, let the sunlight warm my shoulders. The sky still had that flat, frosted, winter look to it, but the air smelled like warming earth and clean water. It didn't have that tang of chlorophyll, but it was still a beautifully displaced day out of warmer months.
Other than the weather, though, it hasn't been the kindest of days.
I've been hit with a wall of tiredness. I didn't see it coming - it was just last night, and I felt suddenly heavy, bowing under a weight that wouldn't shift. I'm just ... tired. To the marrow. It's an exhaustion that goes to the heart, to more than muscles. It's been a combination of things; dealing with others' dramas, their hurts, with my own interior battles. All I can think of is getting away for a while. But I guess there's nowhere to really escape to.
I know it only feels like this isn't going to let up. I know that in a few days' time, I'll feel better, so much so that it'll be hard to remember this exhaustion. But right now, I can't help thinking that I'm going to continue to be this tired, to be this weighted down, for the foreseeable future.
It's only nine o'clock and I want to curl up in bed.
2 comments:
I've got a major case of wanderlust myself. That's not exactly what you're saying, I know, but...I think I get what you're saying. I want to be done with responsibilities, throw my troubles to the wind, hop on a plane to somewhere...else.
Hang in there babe. I hope this passes soon/already is a distant memory. Just so you know, I'm thinking of you often, and miss you terribly.
*hugs*
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